Movie Lists

[Opinion] 2017 Summer Movie Predictions

You have in front of you the only summer movie prediction post guaranteed to get it all wrong. I’m not a Hollywood analyst out there tracking the interest of movie releases, nor am I an avid follower of the people that actually do that sort of thing. I’m just a dude who writes about beer and movie for fun that likes to swing wildly timely trends from time to time. 

Today, it’s ranking this summer’s (2017 for all you futuristic hobos slummin it on the net) movie releases in order of how well I think they’ll do at the box office–just the top ten though. If you read last year’s you already know how comically misinformed this is about it get. Now that we know the game though, let’s just get this over with so I can get back to my case of beer, shall we? 

(1) Spider-Man: Homecoming – With a trio of superhero tinged releases to pick from I am hedging my bets that people losing their sh*t at Spidey’s appearance in Civil War translates to big bucks this year. Or by the end of summer I’ll just go along ignoring how painfully wrong I always am and that’s why I don’t get paid the big bucks. I flip flopped this and number two around several times and I came down to putting this at the top as my Hail Mary. 

(2) Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 – This could go either way really with my top 2. Personally, I’d rather see this rake up at the box office (I’ve seen it and it’s very good). In the end, it’s my fondness for Chris Pratt and the first flick driving my good will seeing as how this flick is basically everything you loved about the first one except more of it. Plus….baby Groot.  

(3) Despicable Me 3 – I don’t like the Despicable Me movies. I don’t like the minions. Yet, if there’s one thing I know it’s that audiences don’t care what I like and that’s why I think this is gonna make some nice cash. And since I don’t win or lose anything for being wrong, man do I hope it tanks…so we can end this sh*t once and for all. Unless my daughter loves it, in which case I’ll throw my hat into the ring to write the next one which will be rejected for being too depressing and violent. 

(4) Transformers: The Last Knight – Another movie franchise I hate that’s bound for a massive payday. Let’s forget that I have positively reviewed more than one Transformers flick–memory is a nasty thing–these movies are terrible. They are pretty to look at, despite how incomprehensible the action is, but pretty nonetheless. Please, for the love of God can we get anyone besides Bay to direct one of these?!

(5) Wonder Woman – Batman V Superman was so freaking disappointing that I hope Wonder Woman slays critically–but part of me knows it won’t. All the signs point to it being another ho hum DC adaptation that has its cheerleaders, but will fail to impress at Marvel levels. Of course that doesn’t mean it won’t make money–Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad taught us that much. I just don’t think this will do AS well. 

(6) War For the Planet of the Apes – Let’s call this one wishful thinking. I love the new ‘of the Apes’ movies so much that I want this to wreck the box office and prove me wrong by being #1. However, I fear that even at #6 I’m being cautiously optimistic by a long shot. I definitely want a kick ass movie first, but success would be the cherry on top. 

(7) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales – It’s been a while so maybe it’s been long enough for the demand for these movies to creep back up. That’s what I’m betting on here at least. If the newest Alice in Wonderland taught us anything it’s that Depp isn’t the draw he once was even doing his annoying dress up schtick. This one could be a bit of a risk as I could see this flopping real hard even if it is well reviewed. 

(8) Cars 3 – Cars 2 was such a dud I’m shocked to even be talking about this. However, this is Pixar and they know how to make money, so it’d be even more shocking to not see this make the top 10. Hell this might even be a case where I’m not being generous enough. 

(9) Baywatch – This one is a real reach for me. I have no idea what kind of cultural pull Baywatch has. It is also going to be a test to see what kind of draw Dwayne Johnson is outside of the Fast & Furious movies (Moana excluded). We know Zac Efron can’t quite do it (Bad Grandpa) so the success of this is going to hinge on how strong the jokes are which should drive the word of mouth combined with The Rock’s star power. 

(10) Dunkirk – The Chris Nolan fanboy in me not only wants this to rake in money, but be of stellar quality. Interstellar didn’t really do it for me, so I’m hoping for a return to Inception and The Dark Knight form. However, being a period piece and not quite of the typical summer blockbuster brand this could fall well outside the top 10. Plus, it’s a late summer flick that won’t have much time to compete with the real heavy hitters. 

**** Wild Cards ****

The Emoji Movie – Let’s face it, we all use them. Some begrungingly, some out of necessity–but we use them. There has to be a curiosity to see how this translates to film and being an animated kids flick it’s going to make money–how much is real tough to tell. Plus, who doesn’t want to see how the poop emoji is handled? If this one lands in the top 10, it’ll be near the middle of the pack and not be as successful as Despicable Me or Cars. 

Alien: Covenant – I just don’t know, man. Prometheus is still a much debated flick to the point that analyzing Alien’s popularity still seems to be “of a type”. Horror buffs are gonna be there with bells on and deal with the love or disappoint on a case by case basis. The masses just might not give a sh*t anymore. If and I mean this is a big if this sneaks into the top 10 it’ll be near the bottom knocking off Dunkirk but be slightly more successful than Baywatch. 

The Mummy – This movie looks awful. I’m not even behind the idea of a this new Universal monster universe reboot as action horror flicks. Maybe I’ll be wrong and it’ll be a fun little popcorn flick–in fact I hope that’s what it is–but simply having Tom Cruise attached does not guarentee box office gold. If this makes it on the list I again believe it’ll at or near the bottom of te lake. 

What do you think will be 2017’s box office winner?

[Best of 2016] TGoF’s Picks for the Best Movies of 2016

It was a fairly quiet year of moviegoing here at TGoF. Lots of adjusting to life with a baby along with other typical life happenings that eat into one’s time and energy. The result made it difficult to fit in some of what many would consider the best movies of the year and being a genre lover I always make time for those pesky horror movies–which is why my lists tend to befuddle the more refined movie snobs. However, in review of the movies I saw this year and not being satisfied with the options for a top ten the executive decision was made to this year do a top five instead. Condensing down hopefully just accentuates how great I felt the top choices were as opposed to how weak (yet still highly rated) my overall top ten would have been.

Over the course of the next few weeks it’s possible I’ll make it out to cinema darlings like La La Land and and Moonlight, but for now hopefully you’re eyes will find my choices for what I did see in 2016 acceptable enough. As always thanks for checking out my ramblings and I look forward to getting back in the saddle more and more on 2017! (more…)

2016 TGoF Summer Movie Predictions

Blockbuster season is upon us. Captain America Civil war is poised to kick that door down and rake in the cash. In the spirit of the season TGoF wants to get into the fun of predicting the top 10 money makers of the season. Keep reading to see my picks for the most successful movies of the summer and feel free to leave your choices in the comments! (more…)

2015 Academy Award Predictions

81st Academy Awards® Press Kit ImagesThe two most telling things I can possible say to anyone getting ready to read my ramblings about the Oscars is that (1) as of writing this I haven’t seen all the movies nominated and therefore can’t accurately speak for many of the nominations those movies have gotten (but I will try), and (2) I don’t necessarily care about the Oscars. I know what movies I saw in 2014 that I loved and many of them would have never had a chance to even enter Oscar discussions. Therefore the Oscars are more of a “cherry on top” should any of the movies I loved actually get recognition- and I’m not that big a fan of cherries.

I will say I do enjoy watching the Oscars….some of the time. I feel like the ceremony is too long and there are too many categories I don’t really care that much about. However, I do enjoy watching seasoned actors giving their acceptance speeches, especially if I’m a big fan of said actor/actress. In the event any of my favorite movies, actors, actresses, scores, and writers get recognized for movies I enjoyed during the year I get a pretty satisfying rush even having not been involved in their success. But seeing as how I don’t really hold the Oscars near and dear to my heart it’s more of a momentary celebration than anything I remember long after its over. So…all that being said aren’t you pumped for my predictions now? (more…)

TGoF’s Top 10 Movies of 2014

whiplash_jksimmonsIt should go without saying each year, but I still feel like I need to state loudly and clearly that I do not make it out to see every movie that most will be talking about at the end of the year. This year in particular saw a decrease in the amount of highly praised movies that (1) saw release in my neck of the woods and (2) I actually had time to make it out to see. Second, I am far more geek than I am snob, so my choices do not always fall in line with your typical paid film writer- I like what I like and I’m not even slightly sorry for it. That being said, I still tend to enjoy a lot of the same movies that tend to get Academy recognition, but I do enjoy to throw a wrench in the mix by making some picks you may not see on other top 10’s out there.

It’s been a great year for movies to be sure. And I tried make diversify my list a little by limiting my choices in the following ways: I like superhero movies, but I only wanted one represented on the top 10 and I like dorky R rated comedies, but again I wanted to only have one represented in the list. Now, with that being said here are a handful of honorable mentions: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Enemy, Locke, 22 Jump Street and Neighbors. Lastly before I get to the list just to beat anyone to the punch, here are some movies I really wanted to see, but either haven’t had the time or opportunity to see before the clock ticks out on 2014: Birdman, Foxcatcher, Boyhood, and The Imitation Game. Looking forward to 2015 there are obviously a handful of movies I’m looking forward to, but the granddaddy of them all is none other than Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens. It’s going to be a long countdown to that release, so let’s just move on to a much shorter countdown shall we? (more…)

TGoF’s Worst Horror Movies of 2014

leporigins_goldNow that the best horror of 2014 is out of the way maybe it’s about time to bring things down a bit before I bring them back up with my Best of 2014 list. Horror remains my favorite overall genre of films which is why I still dedicate a top and bottom post each year (with the exception of 2013). The bottom of list was a little bit of a slower process that was ever changing because I kept forgetting about movies that I watched that I truly hated. I generally try to keep a running tally of the movies I watch each year and sort them by letter grade but sometimes time gets away from  me and I don’t get around to writing a review or I just forget to add it to the list.

I mentioned that I was generally quite happy with 2014 in horror overall, but I did see quite a bit of pretty average to mostly mediocre horror titles this year. The 2014 dishonorable mentions are: At The Devil’s Door, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, Life After Beth and Devil’s Due. I’m going to try and keep my thoughts a bit more brief on these picks just cause I don’t want to go into the new year depressed, but here are my choices for 2014’s worst horror titles. Also, no trailers since I really don’t want them to fool you into thinking you should check them out. If you still want to see them, by all means, but I relieve myself of responsibility as of now.  (more…)

TGoF’s Top 10 Horror Movies of 2014

cybernatural_unfriendedI kind of took a rain check on a traditional top 10 list in 2013. In some ways it felt like a major relief, but I still made a post of my favorite movies and disappointment but in a “one breath” type of way. Yet, I’m still not going to start off with a long winded intro when most people just want the main course and don’t wanna fill up on appetizers.

Before we get started though I will say that I’ve been generally quite happy with 2014 in horror- though I’ll get to the low points later this week. The following 10 movies are of course my representation of the years best, but lest we forget some honerable mentions such as Grand Piano, Godzilla, Afflicted, The Signal and Late Phases. Well I suppose now that I’ve warmed you up a little now’s as good a time as any to dive into my picks for the 10 best horror 2014 had to offer! (more…)

TGoF’s Top 5 Films of 2014 So Far

cheapthrills_posterSometimes around the months of June and July I think it’s fun to take a look back at the movies I’ve been able to see so far in the year. For one, it’s fun to take a look back and see if there’s anything that’s gotten better over time since I watched it and stuff that’s soured on me since. Then as you are about to see I like to take the five that I feel best represent what I’ve enjoyed at that point in the year and see how my taste leans- basically if I’m picking up what Hollywood is throwing down or are the indie filmmakers still pumping out under appreciated gems. Lastly at the end of the year I think it’s fun to revisit this list to see if my picks held up for the whole year or if the year is simply front loaded with movies that make you appreciate the end of the year flicks that much more.

Every year I predict that the list will end up being a mixture of Hollywood dazzle and indie resourcefulness- but it usually depends on just how active I’ve been in keeping up with heading out to the theater or being lazy and resorting to On Demand viewing. I tend to spend equal amounts of time renting movies On Demand and trying not to be a cave dweller by leaving my humble abode to spend time amongst other people to enjoy movies which is why my mid year list tends to show some love to both big budget and ultra low budget films. I’m a sucker for super hero movies, raunchy comedies, heady thrillers and mixture of quirky indies/bizarre black comedies so my lists tend to drift from your typical film snob- but that’s a good thing right? (more…)

2013 Year in Review

20131231-143343.jpg

Another year of movies is in the books and as always it was filled with ups and downs. Breaking from the normal top ten list of the last few years I decided to try something a bit different. In one post I will wrap up the year of movies starting with the best in a paragraph that briefly mentions my favorite movies of the year in no particular order in genres. From there I will briefly discuss some of the years middling efforts that weren’t particular bad, but not particularly good either or just weren’t as good as I hoped. Lastly I will wrap up with some of my choices for the year’s worst efforts.

As always, I don’t always have a chance to see every single movie released on a year by year basis so if you don’t see something don’t worry, it may be because I didn’t see it or that it just didn’t crack my list of movies I really wanted to mention. Feel free to discuss some of your favorites in the comments if you feel your favorite wasn’t given justice! (more…)

Summer Box Office Winner Predictions

I’m going to come right out and say it, I suck at predicting (what I do is nothing more than guessing) how well movies will do at the box office. I do think it’s fun to speculate though about the summer releases and how they will stack up with their competition.

Numbers aren’t really my game so I just wanted to come on and rank what I think will be the top 10 movies at the box office this summer, then sit back and watch how it all turns out. It’s fun in some way to do something like this and then when you see the movie and love it, it gives you something to root for if you’re not into the summer sports or anything like that.

Without further ado, here are my picks for the winners and losers of the box office for summer 2013.

1. Iron Man 3 – Given how much this movie has made already this might be a cheat, but honestly I’m not fully convinced something else on the list won’t come from out of nowhere to make me regret this choice.

2. Man of Steel – Two picks in and I’m already regretting making this list. I want MAN OF STEEL to be good, but Zack Snyder has let me down before. However, having Nolan attached gives me hope as does the trailers- somehow though I’m just not confident this will be a box office juggernaut, but I’m hoping it is based on its placement on the list.

3. Fast & Furious 6 – Another pick I will probably regret placing so high, but due to the success of the series and the off the wall ridiculousness of the trailer I think this thing could potentially break bank at the box office. I have no other reasons for why else I would place this here.

4. Despicable Me 2 – I still have never seen the first film, so I was not part of its success when it was released, but animated movies have the tendency to maybe not open well, but stick around to make a respectable amount of money. This and one other choice I’ll get to I think have the potential to both open big and stick around to put up big numbers.

5. Monsters University – I could easily just flip flop this choice with the previous one as I feel like everything I already typed about DESPICABLE ME 2 also applies here.

6. Star Trek Into Darkness – Some might argue that this is low for this film and the anticipation for it and I would agree. However, while I think this will have a great opening and following week or two, I also think that the numbers won’t be nearly as big to compete in the top 5 especially with IRON MAN 3 still lingering in theaters once this opens and a fan base that I don’t have faith will churn out the big bucks Tony Stark is putting up.

7. Hangover Part III – The second film didn’t deliver the same magic at the box office as the first, granted it still made a decent chunk of change. I can sort of feel the same thing happening here, but maybe if it improves on what everyone seemed to hate about the second film it could shatter what I I’m thinking will be an example of the law of diminishing returns.

8. Pacific Rim – Let me clarify that my excitement for this is astronomical- to the point that I want to include it in the top 3 for box office success. Yet, I just don’t believe that this has a cast that will draw big numbers and I don’t think del Toro’s name is enough to bring in the big bucks. I’m still looking forward for it to do those big numbers and shame me for having it so low on the list.

9. The Wolverine – I have no knowledge of how much anyone is looking forward to this. However, the success of the X-MEN franchise I think will be enough to give it a decent opening weekend and from there word of mouth will determine if its placement on the list is justified.

10. World War Z – Possibly the one choice I think no one believes will be even slightly successful. I really like the trailer so haters be damned, but I think much like THE WOLVERINE the opening week will be respectable and with Brad Pitt attached maybe it will be enough for it to get in and out with enough money to crack the top 10 of box office winners this summer.

Sleeper Picks:

This is the End – I think this looks and sounds hilarious and if it is as funny as it looks then in could be this year’s breakout R rated comedy hit and I really hope it is.

Elysium – Matt Damon has the potential to put butts in seats, but the real test will be to see how much people really care about this type of science fiction. Blomkamp isn’t quite a household name despite the fantastic DISTRICT 9, which is why I’m considering this as a hit in the making, but am prepared to see it underperformed should that be the case.

Box Office Busts:

After Earth – Looks like nothing more than an AVATAR rip-off and I don’t care about the real life father son pair up. Shamalyan lost my faith long ago and the performances from the Smith duo really look terrible to me. It may very well be a box office smash, but in my eyes it doesn’t look to deserve it.

Epic – I actually really want to see this, but considering it opens right alongside FAST & FURIOUS 6 and THE HANGOVER PART III I don’t see how this won’t be buried at the box office. The only thing that may save it is that it appeals to a much different audience than the other two movies and could be a sleeper hit.

The Lone Ranger: Depp alone doesn’t really make a blockbuster, I think DARK SHADOWS helped solidify that and the trailer does not sell to me that this will be entirely clever or exciting. Still, trailers alone are never that great of an example to hedge bets on so maybe this will again leave me with egg on my face.

There it is- I think I left plenty of opportunities to end up embarrassed about my picks once the summer is all over. I’m still really excited to see how it all turns out.